Wendy McCallum (00:38)
Hello there, welcome back to The Coaching Edge. I'm your host, Wendy McCallum. Today's topic is near and dear to my heart. I'm really hoping that you listen to this episode and feel a sense of relief and are able to go into the rest of 2026 with a different perspective on how you're showing up that feels truer and easier for you. That is my goal with this episode. We're gonna talk today about why being yourself
deliberately choosing to show up as yourself as authentic and real as possible is actually the most powerful business coaching strategy, is actually gonna pay off the most for you. And also as a bonus, why that is actually so much easier than trying to be anything else than yourself. So I wanna start with just keeping it real, which is the subject of this podcast episode, but also the way that I roll.
and say that this is something that even after 15 years of being in business as a coach, this is something I still struggle with. I still feel the pull towards polishing things and making things shinier and more perfect. I still look at what other people in my industry are doing and think, should I be doing that? And I think that that pull is human and I think that it's normal and I'm sure that you feel it too. It's that shiny object syndrome that I talk about. It's that idea of like the comparison.
which I call it compare and despair because I'm always thinking to myself not, look what that person's doing. I'm doing it so much better. I'm always looking at whatever other people are doing and thinking to myself, ⁓ I'm not doing it as well as that person. And it's that idea of being a perfectionist and wanting to get it right. And so if that resonates with you, if you're thinking, yes, that's me, that is something that I struggle with, this episode is for you. But also I feel you because that's me too.
Now I've gotten a whole lot better at it and I'm going to talk about that today and you can too. The idea of Real Talk has been part of my brand since the early days. So this idea of like keeping it real, being authentic, because it didn't take me very long in my coaching business to realize that I was terrible at being anybody other than myself. And chances are you are too, because we are always best at being ourselves. But I was really bad at it. Like I just cannot.
I cannot hold back. I am a person who is very honest and fairly direct. I think people would say I'm honest, but it's always with kindness. And I'm a straight shooter. And so I really struggled with that in the early days. And I was thinking about this as I was preparing for this episode. It's funny that when I say real talks, I've been part of my brand. When I started out, as many of you know, I was doing food coaching. I was certified as a natural nutrition consultant and
I had gone to college for a year to study nutrition and so was working with families, mothers in particular, to help them improve the quality of their food and the family's food. The two cookbooks that I published were called The Real Food Solution and Real Food for Real Families. So this idea of real has always been part of my brand. And that has really served me. And the thing is, every time I drift away from that, I feel out of alignment.
I feel kind of icky, it doesn't feel good. And trust me, I have veered out of alignment many times over the last 15 years. Again, because I'm human, because I have gotten caught up in like what other people are doing and tried something different and it just has not felt authentic to me. I listen to that feeling now when I have it. I really listen to it because I know it means it's probably not gonna work out well.
because things work out better for me when I show up as myself. And that's what this podcast episode is all about today, giving you permission to show up more often as you authentically. This podcast is a perfect example of what I mean by real talk. You are here because the way that I show up works for you, the way that I teach, the way that I talk, the honesty, the practicality, all of the...
the things that make me me and make this podcast, The Coaching Edge, what it is, are things that you vibe with, they feel good to you. And that is not accidental, that is strategic. Okay, so there is some deliberateness in this. We are talking about being deliberately and consciously authentic. Okay, so as much as I...
would love to be like, it's easy, you just show up as yourself. You have to obviously still put work into this. There's still conscious effort that goes into this. And that is definitely at the heart of the Coaching Edge podcast is me keeping it real, okay? So I just want to, through the course of this exercise, help remind you, because I know you know this, that...
this is not like a branding exercise. I'm not trying to get you to be something that you're not. In fact, it's the opposite. I want you to show up the way you are because this is how you are going to best build trust, like, connection, and a sustainable business model, especially right now. So we're to talk about why this is even more important now than it has ever been. And as I said earlier,
The bonus in all of this is that this is actually the easiest way to show up. So this should feel like a relief, like a load off your shoulders. And I really want to encourage you to experiment more with this in 2026. Okay, why does this matter even more now? Why is real talk matter even more? Because we are in this world, I've been talking about it a lot in the last six months or a year, where everyone's exhausted. People are tired of being sold to, they are tired of like the relentless marketing, they're tired of the
you know, short form pounding of content that's happening all the time. There's a lot of skepticism out there. This is that trust recession I've been talking about. Buyers are looking at things very differently and are less likely to trust somebody and more likely to be skeptical. So that's the first piece of this. The other piece of this is we layer in AI, when we layer in the...
just the overwhelming presence and influence of artificial intelligence now in everything that's out there. People are onto it and they are really inundated with this like perfect content that feels really scripted, feels formulaic, feels, you know, oftentimes is automated. And I think people don't like it.
This is certainly the way I feel. I'm guessing it's the way you feel. And I think it is definitely what I'm hearing from people and the coaches that I work with. Like, it doesn't feel good to be bombarded with perfect, obviously altered and artificial content. We don't love it. And so if we're feeling that, then our clients are feeling that. And I think it's important here to talk about the fact that you might not always know for sure that it's AI.
but I do think that humans can feel it when something is off, when something is lacking humanity. In fact, there is a word for this and I had to text my partner to ask him what the word was because I couldn't remember and so I'm scrolling through my phone right now to get the words. So this is called Uncanny Valley. And we were talking about it last night, which is partly why I wanted to do this episode today. When we were watching TV, we were talking about this.
phenomenon called uncanny valley, is where humans see human replicates. So for example, animated humans on in movies or in video games, or altered faces. This came up because my my 22 year old son was watching TV with us and there was a an advertisement for something like you know, the Real Housewives of some county and all of the women were so were so drastically altered. My son said,
that's uncanny valley. And that's what led to this conversation because the women didn't look real and there was something about it that looked very weird to us. And I think that phenomenon of uncanny valley transfers over into business AI for us. We can sometimes see things and just feel like something's off, but we're not quite sure what. So it's not obviously always AI, but we know when it's not real. And for all of those reasons,
Real talk and showing up authentically as yourself right now is even more important. Imperfection is valuable. Authenticity is incredibly valuable. Being human is actually currency right now. It's so valuable to people. And so real talk, what we're talking about today on this episode is actually the antidote to all of this. I personally am craving it. I am craving
real meaningful human connection. And it's interesting, because I've been paying attention to the New Year's resolutions as I record this in early January. people are sharing all of the things they want to do in 2026 now. And what I'm seeing over and over again is something I have not seen before with such urgency and in such a big way. And that is people saying, I want to get away from social media. I want to get off of this content delivery wagon.
Wagon's not even the right word, treadmill that I'm on. I wanna get off of it, this hamster wheel. And I want to get back to real connection with myself, real connection with creativity, real connection with other humans. And so for all of these reasons, I think what I'm talking about today, this idea of real talk is incredibly valuable right now. People are not looking for perfection anymore. In fact, when they see perfection, I think they're instant,
gut instinct is to distrust it because of everything I've just talked about. Your lived experience is so much more valuable than some flawless, perfect delivery of something. And I've been talking about this for a long time, just in the context of building like no trust. Show up as yourself, don't worry about being perfect. Humans love knowing that you're real.
But I think it's even more important now, given the trust recession, given the just the barrage and the role of AI now in everything. And also I want you to remember people are not looking for the best coach objectively. They are looking for the best coach for them. And the best coach for them is somebody that they really like and trust. And the way to build that trust is to show up authentically as you, not trying to be somebody else, not trying to be perfect, just as you.
own your special sauce. If you haven't listened to the special sauce episode yet, go back into the archives and search for special sauce and listen to that episode. Okay, why does being yourself attract not just more clients, but better clients? Because all of this ties in as always to the bottom line. Whenever I'm talking about things on this podcast, I'm giving you ideas, strategies, ways of showing up that are going to help you stay in sustainable profit as a small business owner. So how does this help you attract
more clients, but more importantly, better clients for you. And I think one of the fears that people have around showing up in a more real way is that their story or their personality might be too much and it might actually repel people. So there might be people out there who currently following them who get turned off by them, who don't like them anymore once they start showing up authentically as themselves, they start getting more real.
And I really want to spend a minute on this, reframing this, because this is something that, it took me a while to accept this as a business owner, I have to admit. I struggled with this too, just like everyone else who's human, I think. You want everybody to like you, but the truth is, there is a tremendous amount of value in somebody figuring out sooner that you are not for them, than there is in somebody hanging around for a long time before they figure that out.
So it's this idea of getting to know faster. So getting to the no, N-O, faster, and how that is actually a goal as a business person. And I have been really trying to accept and implement that in my approach to everything for the last, I don't know, five or six years, because I had a business coach who I worked with who really worked on this with me. Like actually the value in getting to know faster with somebody is that
if they're not the right person for you and you can figure that out faster and they can figure that out faster, you can move on to finding the next yes. And they can move on to finding the person who is the right person for them. You are not going to be for everyone. I am not for everyone. If this is your first episode, maybe you're thinking she's not for me. But if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, then I probably am for you, right? I want you to find the right support for your needs and...
Like attracts like. So if I get out there and I'm myself or you get out there and you're yourself, you are going to attract people who are aligned with you. What you want is to have people coming into your world that you don't need to convince of anything. are, you know, they already get you. They're already aligned with the core things that are important to you. That means you're going to have better, more meaningful, more engaged conversations. And it
it's gonna get you to a yes a lot faster, trust me on this. You cannot build a business pretending to be somebody else. Well, you can't do it and be happy and satisfied. You are going to burn out doing that because pretending to be somebody else is exhausting and that misalignment that you're gonna feel is going to lead to burnout and it's gonna lead you there really quickly. So again,
Use this podcast as an example. If you're listening to this podcast and you've been listening to more than a couple of episodes of this, it's an example of real talk. I show up here, I'm always myself, I'm the same way here as I am with my clients, as I am inside office hours, you get what you get with me. And that's really at the core of this idea of real talk. How can you do more of that in your business? So let's talk about what real talk is not.
because I think one of the misconceptions about this, like I'm gonna show up more authentically and more real is that I have to share all of the things all of the time. But real talk is actually not oversharing. It's not trauma dumping. It's also not winging it with no structure. That's not what I'm talking about here. It is intentional, deliberate, conscious authenticity. So there's still intention, there's still planning, there's lots of mindfulness in terms of
how you show up authentically, okay? So you still choose what you decide to share, you still do preparation, and you really just stop performing. That's really what it is. So take again this podcast as an example. It is not scripted because that would not feel authentic to me to have written out a script. Even if I wrote the whole script out myself, that's not how I roll. And that does not feel authentic to me. I believe in...
creating connection by showing up really as myself and frankly I'm not scripted ever so that just doesn't work for me. That said I do have in front of me a set of bullet points and an outline that I am working my way through here as I do this podcast because I know that structure is still really important and just because I'm committed to this idea of authenticity and real talk it doesn't mean that I'm just winging it all the time and everything's spontaneous there is structure still to what I do so
Real talk is not oversharing, is not winging it without any planning. That's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about intentional authenticity. Those are the two words I want you to take away. Intentional authenticity.
How do you look for ways to be more intentionally authentic, like really specific practical ways to do this in your world? I think a really good place to start is looking at the language that you're using. Especially if you use, like many of us do, chat, GPT, or some other AI tool to help you craft content now, look at what is being created and ask yourself, am I actually somebody who uses those words in real life?
Are there words in my marketing and my copy that are not words that I ever actually use or that when I do use them, I kind of stumble over them because they don't feel natural to me? Take those words out. Stop using those words. Like I never say shook. I'm shook. That was the example I came up with today. I was trying to think of something I never say. I never say that. That feels weird to me. So if chat GPT...
put that into a script for me or ⁓ like a piece of marketing copy or something, I would immediately remove that. Or, you I work with a copywriter, I'm very open about that, Cassidy, don't, you my newsletters are not AI. She is amazing and she knows me and my voice and I review and we talk about the content of the newsletters before she drafts them and the topics that are important to me and all the rest of it. But if she uses words in that, in the first draft of whatever she creates for me and they are not words that I use, I put a note in the...
in the margin and I say, Cassie, I'd never use this word, please don't use this again, here's the word, here are a couple words that I might use instead. So looking for that can be an easy way to start getting more authentic. Let your natural tone come through. So, you know, how do you usually show up? For me, people always describe me as like this combination of direct but kind honesty. And so that is really, I think, my tone. And I do...
show up that way in all areas and aspects of my business life and also my personal life. I really try to be kind, that's really important to me, but I also really value efficiency and directness and like necessary honesty. So what is your natural tone and is that actually coming through? And then I think another piece of this is am I ever sharing opinions that are not actually my own?
that I've just adopted because it seems like a popular thing to be talking about right now, or it seems like something that I should believe in, that is always going to come through. People are always gonna feel that that's disingenuous when you do that. one of the little tests that I use with my coaches inside the BBB around this idea of like what to share and not share when it comes to opinions, especially on social media, people are nervous about.
being vulnerable or sharing pieces of their story often because they're worried about the trolls coming out and getting attacked on social media, which by the way, I completely get. My little test that I use and that I encourage my coaches to use is, is this true for me? Is this really true for me or true for somebody that I know well or a client that I support? And then you state the truth as it is true for you. So you say, you might say, you know, this is
this thing happened to me and this is how it made me feel. That's true. Now, if somebody attacks you for that, says you're wrong, criticizes you, whatever, like that's legit, the way you feel about that thing. And so their feedback has nothing to do with you. It's only about them. And I think it's really easy to feel like to defend yourself and to not feel offended by that. If someone has some comment to make about something that is really true to you or this happened to a client and this is how my client told me it made them feel again.
true to that person, right? So keeping it true, which again is in alignment with this whole staying real, being authentic, being genuine, actually is often a lot safer and feels a lot safer on social media and in other forms of marketing. Just remember that real talk is about being recognizable. So this is like really interesting.
you want people to know that it's you. When they see something or they hear something, you want them to be like, ⁓ that's Wendy. I know that that's Wendy. I had this thing happen. Actually, this is a testament to my copywriter, Cassidy. Shout out to Cassidy. You're awesome. my first my previous husband, my ex husband, I don't like the words X, but my partner of 25 years was reading a
So he was reading my newsletters, guess, maybe it my online social media content. And I was telling him that I hired Cassidy and she was just managing all that and what a relief it was to not be doing as much of that as I used to be doing actively. And he said, oh my God, what? That's not you? Wait. And this is the person who at the time knew me better than anybody else. And he thought that that was me. That's what we're looking for here. We're looking for authentic content. And that is a testament to Cassidy because she is excellent.
at creating copy that is me, because it is me and because we talk about all of the things and because she knows very well what I stand for, what's important to me and what I wanna communicate. So you want that to be happening in all of your content, most of which you're gonna be doing yourself. And frankly, most of my content is stuff that I do myself, but Cassidy does help with newsletters and some of the social media content. So real talk is about being recognizable.
It's not about being raw and messy just for the sake of it. That's not what we're talking about. Again, intentional, deliberate authenticity is what we're talking about. Okay, so how do you infuse real talk into your whole business model? Because this is what I want you to go away and experiment with in 2026. In terms of your marketing and your visibility, that top of funnel or the north, as we are taught when we're using that business compass model that I've been talking about in past episodes, we're talking about the north here.
how you pull people into your world. So that might be your social media, it might be your freebies, it might be how you're showing up at live events and that type of thing. If it's a written copy, you wanna be writing like you speak. So check it, is this actually how I speak? Is this too formal? Is this too casual? Is this the way I would speak to a real live human about this if I was in the room with them?
or am I using language, words and diction or, you know, that I would not normally use? Am I editing out myself from my copy? So am I editing out my warmth, my humor, my sense of humor, my directness, my tone? Is that being edited out of this stuff? How can I bring it back in? Am I trying to be too perfect?
If you're one of those coaches out there and you know who you are, because a lot of you are inside my BBB who hold yourself to this whole, I'm a perfectionist standard, drop it. It's not working. It's not working. Also, it's not possible. You cannot be perfect. But actually, even if you're trying hard to be perfect, it's probably costing you more than it's bringing you, bringing, giving you. So your people don't need perfect. They need the real you. I want you to remember that. Okay. Same thing goes with your programs and your offers that you're putting out there.
Are you being real in those? Are you actually reflected in those? One mistake I see coaches make all the time is they design these offers and programs for their clients, but not for them as the coach. And I think the best programs and offers are ones that actually take into consideration both the needs and goals of your clients and the real lives of your clients and your dream clients for that program, but also what you need.
to feel resonant, balanced, and be able to show up as your best self, as their coach, right? So what works for you and what works for your clients is really important. And that is going to be a whole lot more real than creating a program or an offer in a vacuum or just for your client, your dream client, not taking into account what actually feels good for you. So how do you like to teach? Make sure your programs and offers reflect that.
What kind of a pace can you sustain? What actually works with your real life, right? And who are the clients that you enjoy working with? Are you creating programs for them or are you creating programs for another subset of people? I know this probably sounds obvious, but I see time and time again coaches not doing this, not taking this into account. And remember with all of this, with your offers and your programs, the beta mindset is key. This is an experiment.
You put something out there, you try it, and then you say, ⁓ that didn't work very well for me, or here's what didn't feel good about that, or here's where I felt misaligned, or here's where I felt like I wasn't really showing up as myself. And then you change it the next time to be more real, to be more authentic as you go forward. And when you're coaching, this is another place to be being more real. And a lot of coaches, especially newer coaches, are trying to show up perfect in their coaching sessions. And I get that. It can be really nerve wracking.
when you start coaching clients and people have made a big investment in working with you. But remember, and again, this might be obvious, but it is something that I think is really helpful for me even now 15 years in to remind myself of, I don't have an agenda with my clients. I am not doing agenda-based coaching. I don't have a desired outcome for them. I'm not invested in a particular outcome, I'm invested in them.
And so when I show up in coaching, the way I show up as my realest, most authentic self is I clear the slate before I come in. I'm not thinking about other things. I'm not distracted. I have my absolute best listening ears on. I am really listening to them at all levels. I'm watching them for body language. If it's a Zoom call, I'm listening to the tone of voice. I'm hearing and feeling like the emotion that's coming through on the call. And I'm staying super curious and away from desired outcome in the questions that I ask.
And I think if you do that, you are going to naturally show up. You make space really for you to show up as your most real self. And you stay human, which is what makes a great coach. Your clients don't trust you because you're perfect and you always have the perfect question. Your clients trust you because you are real and human and you're there for them. You're actually there in that session.
A couple of my favorite questions to ask are, tell me more. It's not even a question really, but when someone's telling me something and it's important, say that, wow, that sounds really important or that sounds really, that's really interesting to me. What did you learn from that? Or what more can you tell me about that? Or what's the thing you're not telling me right now about this? know, curious questions with zero agenda. I have no idea what the answers are gonna be to those questions, but I do know that.
They're the things that I'm curious about as a coach and therefore that those questions are likely going to lead to some more insight from my clients. So again, stay real in your coaching sessions. It can be a hard place to do that, but it's also the most important and impactful place to be real. That is what is not only gonna give the best value to your clients in the sessions, but also lead to more referrals, which again will help you build a sustainable business, which is what I'm here for for you.
Little example before we go of where I have decided to try to be more conscious and deliberate about being authentic is in social media. So I have backed away from any live content on Instagram or anywhere else other than this podcast for I would say like a year. I just, I'm not interested in it anymore. And I'm hearing this from coaches inside the BBB. Everybody's just done with it. They're just sick and tired of like the.
content machine, the crappy algorithm for small business, all of it. But I thought to myself, as I was actually preparing for this podcast, where can I walk the talk here and actually work on being more real? And I think the place for me to do it is in some more live content on Instagram. And by live, I don't necessarily mean like live, going live on Instagram. For me, it's really recording something and then posting it immediately.
So nearly live, we'll call it. And what I decided to do is like, how could I do that in the most real way? Well, I could show up with zero agenda, again, just like I try to do in all my coaching sessions, but just with the objective of sharing something that I think might be helpful to you. And I could also show up in like a very real place for me, which might be like while I'm making my first cup of coffee in the morning, you will see me in my pajamas with zero polish at all on myself.
or if I was out for a walk or something like that. But I think I'm gonna really try this year to get into the groove of sharing things, not for the purpose of marketing or selling at all, just for the purpose of sharing something real with you in 90 seconds or less. And so we'll see how that goes. But that's me bringing this real talk experiment into my own business. And I really want you to reflect on...
where you could do this in your world going forward? Where are you trying to sound like someone else? Where have you either edited yourself down or polished yourself up? Look for those places. And then a really simple experiment would be to look at one piece of content this week, because it's coming, and look at how you can make it more you, less polished, less perfect, and really focus on just showing up authentically, not selling, not any particular strategy, just...
delivering whatever the piece of content is in a way that feels really authentic. So I'm leaving you with that. How can you show up more as yourself in 2026 in your business? And I just want to close with a reminder that doing this, not only is it easier because you are you. And so being you is the easiest person to be.
Right? So not only is it easier to show up as yourself, but it is also the best thing for your business. It is the thing that is going to attract the right people for you. And yes, it will repel some people. It will not be for everybody. But that is okay. Nobody is for everybody. It will repel the people that are not meant for you and they will be able to go find who is meant for them faster. And it will pull in the people who are really aligned with you.
So I really wanna encourage you to work on this this year and I would love to hear back from you. If you take this experiment into your business, send me a note, let me know where in your business you decided to try to get more real and how that played out for you. You can always send me an email at wendy at wendymcallum.com or you can contact me through the DMs on Instagram, always happy to chat. And if you have not yet checked out the BBB, I wanna invite you to the next open house. You can grab the details on the next open house always.
at wendymcallum.com forward slash BBB links in the show notes. I would love to meet you virtually face to face and learn a little bit more about you. Have a great rest of your week and let's keep it real together.
